Southern Momma: Take One

A tidbit about me is that I am a croatian. Well, half croatian and half irish. Now you can see where my temper can come from and my determindness. My husband is southern. Almost as southern as you can get except that he doesn't like fishing or hunting. He doesnt mind a garden as long as he is not the one taking care of it. He loves all the southern things, from listening to blue grass music to eating a crazy ton of fried food, beer and soda. I have never fried anything other then schnitzel. I also work now with a bunch of southern ladies (which you really dont know southern hospitality until you have or were raised with decent southerners.). I have a lot of southern friends I would do anything in a hearbeat for. My in-laws though, they are very southern and it took a good while for them to warm up to me (my sister in law still hates me for the most part-that will come in a later chapter). Well, these lovely southern ladies inspired me to make more southern dishes at home. It was mostly successful. I've never made my own gravy before and the gravy I made was the best part!! It was so easy I couldn't believe it! I made country fried steak, mac and cheese and biscuits (biscuits and mac and cheese out of a box-come on, I'm not ready to that). My first steak I cooked I burned in the first thirty seconds (I was supposed to turn down the heat-obviously I did not on the first one) I was so upset....and I also didnt cut in half, which was also another mistake on the first one, thank goodness for gravy. After that mishap, I turned down the heat and put the other piece of steak in thirds and fried those and they came out beautiful. I made the gravy with flower , and milk and pepper, I only added a small amount of salt.

For desert, I made a peach cobbler out of a crockpot! It tasted amazing (and honestly went better then I thought it would). It was affordable to. 

If you want some realistic southern recipes visit: www.southernplate.com

That is where I got my country fried steak and gravy info from. Everything she makes, you either have or it cost less then ten dollars to buy. 

The crockpot peach cobbler is easy (I got it off of one of those facebook "how to" videos, but I'll list what you need). You need two cans of peach pie filling (I also couldnt see why you couldnt use another pie filling if you dont want peaches), I box of Vanilla cake mix (I only used two thirds of it) and 8 tablespoons of butter, if you want nuts on it, pour it in last (i used pecans) You open the cans and pour it in the crockpot, then pour the vanilla cake mix on top. Then you want to cut up the pieces of butter and layer it on the cake mix, and if you choose to add nuts, sprinkle that on top last. Put the crockpot on HIGH for 2 1/2 hours. It can range from 2-2 1/2. It was that easy! 

You better believe the next potluck I have to bring something too, I'm going to be bringing a crockpot cobbler! 

Through it all, my husband loved it! He ate everything (I hate the burned country fried steak). He even had seconds! I would call that a success. 

Maybe it isn't so bad being southern. 

P.S for a busy working mom, the Crockpot is my best friend!

Staying In Love...

We all hope for that dream guy, the one that we had been waiting for our whole lives...A few of those find that guy, and few of us find the guy that we thought would never be that guy but ends up being exactly what we needed and makes us very happy too.

My husband I have known for 6 years before I married him and we were best friends. He knew my ex husband. My now husband and love of my life and I had always been closer and connected on a level that I never dreamed possible. I knew when I finially agreed to date him, I knew I would marry him. I am truly blessed. He is my complete opposite in so may way, its it crazy. I am very head strong (I grew up tough and never had an easy life-I'm not a procrastinator and I worry constantly and I have a "go-getter" attitude) and he is the opposite. He is the yen to my yang. I never thought I would have this life with him, and he drives me NUTS! I honestly wouldnt have it any other way. Those who say you never day dream about someone else, or wonder what it would be life, your lying to yourself. We all do it, but we all know, what we have with our significant other, that is love...love is and never was easy. I ask every person I know that has been maried for over 25 years "what is the secret?" Most answers are "pick your battles" "there will be rough spots, there might be a couple bad years, but in the end, its worth it".

Its hard to stay in love, especially if your new parents and trying to make a career and still trying to keep your marriage. There are moments/days I just want to scream at him, however he makes me the happiest in life. I know I take him for granted sometimes. The man knows my flaws and still chooses to wake up next to me and not poison my coffee ( he also knows to make sure and make me coffee if he beats me waking up).

I think that is the key. Its knowing the good with the bad, and knowing that person feels the same way.

I started watching this show called "Catastrophe" from Amazon, and its true. (which is where this blog as been stimulated from). How do we all stay in love? What happened that made our grandparents stick with each other, and this day and age we are so quick to say goodbye and I don't love you anymore. I divorced the first time for the right reasons. However, I would never divorce this guy, I made a promise to love him no matter what (even when its hard).

My ex-M.I.L stayed with her husband, after he cheated on her, she took care of him when he got cancer, and loved him up until the end and he passed. Now she is dating a guy, but has no intention on marrying him. I always wonder, what made her stay. Why did she choose to still be with him, though she could walk away (she had kids with him, but we all know that she would have gotten for child support and probably alimony). But she stayed... I think it takes a strong woman. I hope I never have to find out if I would have to make that choice, but you cant help but wonder "what would I choose".

Some say staying in love is : have dates once a week, make time for each other, be forgiving, always be supportive.

What would your response be? or are you still looking for the one?

I am by far not perfect, my best advice is: admit when your wrong (it takes a strong person to do it) and know how to forgive (even if they dont say they are sorry- which is my hardest fault)

Also, never stay with a man who hits you. Or calls you fat, or threatens to cheat on you. Your husband/wife needs to be there for you too.

I find it hard to balance being a mother, a woman who works, and being a wife. I admit being a wife if third on my life, not that I do it on purpose, just that I forget. I honestly do. I hardly have time to myself even. I'm getting better, and I'm trying to show how thankful I am for him. Its just hard. I see friends who constantly say "have a date night once a week".my response "in what reality does that really work?" "I'm glad your able to do that, but I dont get the same chances". So I got a new job to help me with that (and it is a better opportunity for my career-and a nice enviorment). I have to make the change. I may not always "be in love", but I do always "love". You cant always be in love, but you stil; have to be able to love when the "romance" is gone, but never sop trying.

The struggle is real

I have to wake up every morning at 5:15 to have coffee before my son wakes up, even if he is not up until 7:00. Why, one might ask, to finish my cup of coffee or have enough in it for me to function with a smile and be upbeat. My husband can vouch for me when I say this, I am definitely not a morning person. If you dont give me at least thirty minutes to wake up, I can be your worst nightmare (even if I try very hard not to be). My son has received this gene from me. Worst, he is a monster after his nap (yesterday he screamed and cried for thirty mins, seriously it was THIRTY mins-unconsoleable). Basically, bottom line, if I do not get a cup of coffee and thirty mins to get my head together, my whole day messes up. Worst is when I have to go to work and smile, and I'm praying maybe some nice customer will surprise me with a redbull....everyone can dream right?

My son in so many ways, is a mini-me. It drives my husband up the wall sometimes, at least our son looks like him (got his ears for sure) and loves the same things as him (star wars, super heroes, legos etc).

Sometimes, I'm afraid I'm a bad mom, and torment myself at night thinking of how I could have done things differently, or what I will try to do better tomorrow. My son is in the "terrible 2s". I see these moms on facebook showing all the ways their child (toddler age) is wonderful and smiles, and here my kid is pitching a fit because he is hungry, but wants candy, not a bologna sandwhich, or he is throwing a fit because he wants to watch Chuggington on T.V. Don't give me wrong, I do love my son and thinks he is the shit. A lot of times I'm just happy he made it another day being alive and didnt manage to use something to climb to the counter and pull down a knife. I can usually end the day with a glass of wine (in case your wondering, Target has the best options and best prices for affordable wine-they have quite a few for less the 8.00 with a good alcohol content). I just cant help but wonder, is it just me? Did I spawn a child that is every bit of me and I'm paying the price for having sex? My parents always said I was a great baby/toddler, I dont see how, because my son acts just like me, and he drives me up the wall. Its like when he is great, he is amazing, but when he is bad, I want to hide in a closet and eat oreos, the double stuffed ones. At least the teething is over. I suppose I should toast to that one. Also, its a wonder any of us working moms or moms in general who are trying to get to a certain place on time ever makes it, I have to set aside an extra fifteen minutes to make sure I can wrestle my two year old into shoes and a jacket, and bribe him with juice and a snack to get into the car...and still half to half drag him.

Seriously, being a mom is hard. Its rewarding, but its hard...so for all of you out there struggling, you are not alone. The struggle is real.