The struggle is real

I have to wake up every morning at 5:15 to have coffee before my son wakes up, even if he is not up until 7:00. Why, one might ask, to finish my cup of coffee or have enough in it for me to function with a smile and be upbeat. My husband can vouch for me when I say this, I am definitely not a morning person. If you dont give me at least thirty minutes to wake up, I can be your worst nightmare (even if I try very hard not to be). My son has received this gene from me. Worst, he is a monster after his nap (yesterday he screamed and cried for thirty mins, seriously it was THIRTY mins-unconsoleable). Basically, bottom line, if I do not get a cup of coffee and thirty mins to get my head together, my whole day messes up. Worst is when I have to go to work and smile, and I'm praying maybe some nice customer will surprise me with a redbull....everyone can dream right?

My son in so many ways, is a mini-me. It drives my husband up the wall sometimes, at least our son looks like him (got his ears for sure) and loves the same things as him (star wars, super heroes, legos etc).

Sometimes, I'm afraid I'm a bad mom, and torment myself at night thinking of how I could have done things differently, or what I will try to do better tomorrow. My son is in the "terrible 2s". I see these moms on facebook showing all the ways their child (toddler age) is wonderful and smiles, and here my kid is pitching a fit because he is hungry, but wants candy, not a bologna sandwhich, or he is throwing a fit because he wants to watch Chuggington on T.V. Don't give me wrong, I do love my son and thinks he is the shit. A lot of times I'm just happy he made it another day being alive and didnt manage to use something to climb to the counter and pull down a knife. I can usually end the day with a glass of wine (in case your wondering, Target has the best options and best prices for affordable wine-they have quite a few for less the 8.00 with a good alcohol content). I just cant help but wonder, is it just me? Did I spawn a child that is every bit of me and I'm paying the price for having sex? My parents always said I was a great baby/toddler, I dont see how, because my son acts just like me, and he drives me up the wall. Its like when he is great, he is amazing, but when he is bad, I want to hide in a closet and eat oreos, the double stuffed ones. At least the teething is over. I suppose I should toast to that one. Also, its a wonder any of us working moms or moms in general who are trying to get to a certain place on time ever makes it, I have to set aside an extra fifteen minutes to make sure I can wrestle my two year old into shoes and a jacket, and bribe him with juice and a snack to get into the car...and still half to half drag him.

Seriously, being a mom is hard. Its rewarding, but its hard...so for all of you out there struggling, you are not alone. The struggle is real.